Secrets to a long and lasting relationshipSubmitted by mismisleyson at July 24, 2012 - 4:10 pm
Over the years I have been hearing and reading stories about how to keep a long and lasting relationship. But because I have also seen relationships that fall apart, I really don’t know how to share my views regarding this matter. But, in my own experience (in the case of my parents) I can share a bit of what I have seen, felt and experienced.
Being in a relationship is or should I say NOT EASY. Many stories have have been brought up saying their relationship has been very successful, it looks greener and happier and all of that stuff. But do you realize how many of them share the truth about what’s really at the back of their relationship? What’s the truth about the amount of ‘work’ that goes into relationships. Correct me if I’m wrong – 50% of Marriages end up in Divorce/Separation.
Even the best relationships in the world, the best couple in show business require constant attention, nurturing and work. There are no superheroes in relationships without having to experience constant trials and hardships. In my experience I do understand the need for constant attention and work. Without understanding and accepting these, you are not on the right track.
Most relationships live and die with a dagger. They often forget to discuss and talk. If a couple can’t find a way to honestly open a conversation in order to communicate their needs and feeling with each other, then the relationship does not stand a single chance of having a long term relationship. Well of course you don’t need to start a fight just in order to address things out. To have healthy relationship, couples must commit themselves in speaking the truth regarding concerns and issues in a safe and respectful manner.
In a world that is run by money, it is also a big problem in most relationships. Every individual have different strategies in dealing with finances that may either put the relationship in positive or negative stresses. Remember that relationships are not about always taking but also giving. If you are feeling resentful of how much you give and only receive a little, then you are virtually on an unequal relationship. Always realize that your attitude towards money as well as your financial behavior will have a great impact in your relationship. “Agree to respect each others views no matter how wrong yours may be”.
Carefully Choose Fights
When couples move in together, they discover things that only they can experience. Living day-in and day-out with your couple tend to discover same and different things every day. With this, prepare yourself with this one of a kind challenge in your day to day living with your partner. Carefully choose what and which of the arguments and debates you want to put on the hot seat and make it a full blown fight. Do you really want to start a fight over which channel to turn on the TV or small things like the shampoo or toothpaste cap? Or you would rather conserve your energy to many arguable situations like children, finances, and business. Many modern couples fight over the dumbest things, so be careful.
Have fun together
Long term relationships have been judged as full of sacrifices. Working hard to meet finances, the household chores, the children. But partners should also take some time off and have fun together. Go out at least once a week or if time doesn’t permit at least twice a month. Reminisce the times when you were still girlfriends and boyfriends and talk about how you fell in love with each other.
Most women when entering into a long term relationship, they often tend to put their selves in second priority. Many women tend to give up something in order for their partner to be significant in all means. That is fine anyway. But in reality, try to talk things out about your priorities that also matters to you. If you do, try to communicate and open up those things to your partner and don’t forget to compromise when possible. Two individuals will likely have different desires, wants and needs. That’s Life! But out of these in-differences, never lose hope of making them cross paths. When this happens, express your needs with respect and always have an open mind.
Honesty accompanied with Trust
All individuals address honesty and trust in way too many different styles. But one thing is constant. Trust and Honesty is always a concern. Everyone values trust and honesty from their respective partners. This is because your partner is the only one you want to be able to depend when things get rough. Your partner is the only person you expect to lean on in the long run without any question or doubt. But also consider that not all should be blown out of proportion. Like little things when your partner hasn’t been all honest because in reality everybody tells white lies. But of course try also to weigh what are completely a ‘white lie’ and totally a serious LIE. Remember to FOCUS on BIG LIES!
Long term relationships take two to tango. It takes two individuals to make it work. No matter how eager and enthusiastic one person wants their relationship successful, if the other partner is not completely committed, then the relationship will really fall apart. With what I have seen in my world, without the dedication of both partners, there is no other trick of making a relationship grow.
Partners need to show constant attention and nurture this so called relationship just as nurturing the things that is most important in your life. Many have misconception of entering into marriage. You don’t just enter into marriage and say ‘that’s it’. One should realize that marriage is just the beginning of a long journey towards opening and communicating to your partner in an honest and respectful manner.
If you’re willing to commit with all of these with all honesty and sincerity, then you’re on your way to having a successful and long lasting relationship. Good luck as you pursue your dream of having a long lasting marriage!
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